Mastering Negativity

Post date: Aug 13, 2011 4:03:29 PM

Not everyone finds it easy to be positive. To some they find it easy to see the dark side of every situation. However, there is still a choice involved! I would say that I am naturally a positive person. There are still times when I think 'woe is me' and start my own pity party. It's comfortable to sit and wallow, or even think the rest of the world have a better lot in life than me. Am I alone in this, I don't think so!

I am learning to control my thinking. Following the theory of Albert Ellis Rational Emotive Therapy I am capturing my thoughts and challenging them.

I have often heard it said 'My husband/wife/partner/child made me angry'. But did they really? They may have behaved poorly and been disrespectful, or even downright appallingly, yet they didn't make you angry. You decided to be angry (or I decided to be angry). What! I hear you saying, I am sure the hackles are being raised at this very moment. But think of it this way. Have you got a friend who always seems cheerful? They get treated badly by their partner, but somehow they don't react, and think their partner’s who is treating them poorly is just being silly!

What is the difference between you and your friend? Only what you both believe about the event; you believe the partner was behaving outrageously, and they thought they were being a bit silly! You are angry, she/he thinks it’s funny!

Can you now see what I mean, that the only difference between you and your positive cheerful friend is the belief you have about events. Really, it boils down to what you are saying to yourself about an event, not the actual event.

Albert Ellis - Rational Emotive Therapy or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy